by Johanna Osborne

There’s a little saying that I like very much and that has helped me often in life. It’s very simple; “You always have a choice, no matter what” and it’s truly a beauty in so many situations… and in particular a belief I’ve clung to ever so tightly in the last 2 months as I’ve gone through one of the most life altering decisions I’ll ever make.

Ever so true to my star sign, I’m an indecisive Libran who weighs up her options, back and forth, pro and con. What if, what that, maybe this, perhaps that. Oh, I truly don’t know how anyone puts up with me! If there was ever anyone who looked at something from every angle, then that person is me. I’m not a rush-in, snap decision type person (except when I’m shopping, then it’s all or nothing in 10 seconds flat). I like to be sure, I like control, I’m afraid of the unknown and I don’t really like change. Perhaps that’s a bit of an uncool thing to admit, as in this day and age, moving with the times and embracing change seems synonymous with achievement and youth. Maybe I’m getting old and maybe I’m not so cool, but change is not really my thing. I like my familiarity and my trusty routine, and I like knowing what to expect. But then again, even though I’m all about a nice cosy comfort zone, I guess it’s not going to set my world on fire either. Not that I have grandiose ideas of doing that either, but as the saying goes, just outside your comfort zone is where the magic happens. And I have well and truly hopped outside my comfort zone in recent times and although it’s scary as hell, I feel more alive than ever! I have realised that despite my fears and reluctance, deep down inside me lies an adventurer, an optimistic and positive spirit that likes to have fun and experience new things. Deep down inside me there is a little bit of bravery and courage.

You see, my husband, son and I are packing up our life here in Wellington and relocating, moving to Australia. How exciting, I hear you say. Oh yes it is. It sure is! But it doesn’t feel quite so exciting when suddenly there is a big red sold sign on your house and it kind of hits you, the fact you can’t undo it, and then it starts to feel very, very real. I will never forget that day coming home and sinking to the ground with a feeling of “oh my goodness, what have I done?!” My precious “choice factor” was somehow gone, my beloved mantra that gets me through …there’s no more choice when the deal is done! Utter panic, regret and moments of extreme worry passed over me like a heavy rain shower. In hindsight I guess that’s only natural as I am a sensitive person by nature, and I feel things deeply. My poor Stephen had his hands full dealing with my changing emotions, one day I was excited about moving, the next I was mourning my home and my wonderful life here. Oh what a journey. They are not wrong when they say the most stressful things in life are death, divorce, changing job and moving house. I have experienced all of these (apart from divorce, thankfully) and I must concur this statement is correct.

To me selling my beloved house symbolised the end of my time here, which has been all about friends, family, a great neighbourhood, a good school and a beautiful, happy, easy and convenient life. It’s where I’ve spent the first years of my son’s life and made the best friendships I could ever wish for. It’s a lot to give up. And for what? The unknown is a scary old fellow, and he’s not nearly as alluring as that lovely chap familiarity, who has a warm embrace and hot cup of chocolate in his hand. Which route to take?

I’m pleased to report I was able to lift myself out of that temporary madness I experienced, in large thanks to my supportive and ever so tolerant husband, my darling Mum and my encouraging friends. “It’s time to get excited Johanna!”, “Life is about new experiences and opening our eyes, living in different places, seeing the world and meeting new people”, “Don’t resist change, embrace it”…. And so the sage pearls of advice sunk in, and as I digested these nuggets I realised they were in fact very true. I don’t think I will regret moving as much as I will not having done it in years down the track. It also empowered me to think back to when my parents relocated to NZ in 1986, all the way from Germany, not knowing the English language very well and creating a whole new life here with 2 children in tow. They did not have it easy and faced many, many challenges. It makes me proud to see what they achieved as a couple and how well they settled us in here. It wasn’t easy for them, but are there regrets? No. A sense of achievement? Most definitely. It’s also encouraging for me to see our elderly uncle who at 80 years old has recently moved to a different city, and on the phone he told me “Gosh Johanna, you just have to do these things in life. You will love it.” If an 80 year old man can successfully move, then so can I.

This was certainly not a snap decision, it was a carefully considered move and every step planned and thought out. The last leap, the bungy jump off the edge was what rocked my world one last time, but I think somehow it’s made me stronger, it’s enforced that I do want this, and that I do think I can do it. More than that, I think we can do it well, as a couple, as a family.

Speaking to others that have had similar experiences, they have told me that it’s a very empowering time for a husband and wife, as you rely more heavily on each other and it strengthens your bond and connection. You become each other’s “person” all over again. I think it’s a wonderful adventure to embark on with my family, and one that will bring many challenges, but hopefully also rewards and joyful moments. And I guess it’s true, that is what life is all about. Pushing ourselves, taking a chance, a risk and experiencing new things. Exploring a new city, making a new home. It’s scary but it’s empowering. We’ve got each other. And that’s a lot!

Of course, I will always hold my time with the first lady, our glorious capital city Wellington, very dear and will always come back (often!) to visit my friends and family. All the most important things in my life have all taken place here – I grew up here from the age of 9, met and fell in love with my now husband, got married here (at the Boatshed!), spent my honeymoon night here (at the Amora!), gave birth to my son here, celebrated many happy occasions with friends and family here- basically for us Wellington will always be very precious for it has been the scene of many milestones and amazing moments. That sort of emotion will always connect you to somewhere, for life.

And not only that, I will now be your very first Wellington Wedding show team member coming at you live from Brisbane. I may live across the ditch but my fingers remains firmly in the pie here, I won’t leave you guys, I love you too much! MR&MRS is our pride and joy and I will continue to write for our precious magazine, our blog and our Facebook page.

So here is my first chapter of my adventure. I will keep you posted on the trials and tribulations, hurdles and adventures that we encounter from here on in. I expect there will be a few more stories to tell. Let the adventures begin!

xoxo

Robert Frost (1874–1963). Mountain Interval. 1920.

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth; 5